Dark Poetry

When you are feeling down, poetries such as the one below somehow make sense. (In a poetic and literature perspective of course.)

Extract:

...Just Keep Walking
I walk as though i'm already dead,
Decaying more with each step.
My hands and feet are heavy bricks,
Dangling from paper limbs.
I know not exactly where i'm going,
I just keep walking,
Sinking deeper and deeper into the ground.
My mind is a blank,
My heart is black,
Decaying more with each step.
And I just keep walking.
-SorRow NiGhtShaDe

For more depressive and gloomy poetries, click HERE. For those people who are feeling cheerful and blissful, you might want to steer clear of the link. Wouldn't want to ruin your day now.

Depression

I have depression. I do not know when it started. I am not sure how to get rid of it. It just creeps up to me when my soul and thoughts are unguarded and now it is invading my way of life and behavior. I heard from a friend that once depression hits you, it would never go away. The only thing you can do is to keep it under control. You will always feel its presence deep down somewhere in your heart and mind.

It is affecting me in every way possible. It is the reason for my Insomnia. It took away my laughter. I cannot even smile naturally now without forcing my facial muscles to fake it. Even so, the only thing I can conjure up is a weak grin. I am trapped in my inner soul, within myself and my scream for help is so far-fetch that it is out of range of anyone's ears. I tried to reach out my hand but no one is able to see me to help me. Moreover, they can't help cos they do not understand the rational behind it. When you ask them questions, they can't answer and kept quiet.

The worst part is .....I does not know what the root of my problem is!! I am lost.

If anyone has one or more of the following symptoms below, you might have depression too. Get out of the pit hole and ask for help now before it's too late. I am still raging a war within me, fighting with...myself, praying for salvation. Hopefully the “Happy” me can emerge the victor after defecting my inner adversary to tell the story.

Extract:

Not everyone who is depressed or manic experiences every symptom. Some people experience a few symptoms, some many. Severity of symptoms varies with individuals and also varies over time.

Depression

· Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood
· Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
· Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
· Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed,
including sex
· Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down"
· Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
· Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
· Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
· Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
· Restlessness, irritability
· Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as
headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain

Click HERE for more information. I am currently researching on the subject and finding ways to overcome it before it destroy me. Apparently, you have to pay for the treatments and solutions, not knowing if it really works on you. There is no free lunch on earth right? This is one of the links: Todoinstitute

Gold Miner Vegas

With more added features and useful items varieties, this upgraded version of the previous Gold Miner is a hoot to play. Perfect for curing boredom and relaxing without being too sophisticated. I can never unwind to [Counter Strike] or [World of Warcraft] even though I do not play them. Complicated games with too many commands and functions will only make me more excited instead of relaxing. Need I say more?

Play Gold Miner Vegas

Dream Dictionary

Any of you people won the top prize in the recent $10 million Toto draw? If you are one of the lucky winner, congratulation. If not, it is time to get back to reality and stop daydreaming. Back to our old daily routine of dragging ourselves up for work and tolerating with unreasonable and incompetent bosses for those unlucky ones. (At least till the draw next year)

Speaking of dreams, I came upon a website that sort of explains what our dreams meant. Not sure if it is accurate but it does give you something to wonder about.

If you're interested, here it is:
The Meaning of Your Dreams

Restless Nights

I have a problem that is affecting me for some time now. I used to have it occasionally in the past but during recent months, it has increased its visits and prowess on me like a python snake slowly twisting and tightening around its prey. The agony is so great that every night when it strikes I feel like killing myself just to be able to rest. What am I talking about?

Moreover, there is really no one available to discuss about it unless you are willing to pay to see the specialist. (Which not necessary works. This also proves that all the people I know do not suffer from insomnia and sleep like a pig. Lucky Bastards!) People tend to be less sympathetic about these sorts of things. They would be thinking that at most, you are only losing a couple hours of sleep and so it is really no big deal. However, what happens if you are only sleeping an average of four hours per day.....for three months! By now, I think my eye bags qualify me to impersonate a panda. I am starting to look like a freaking heroin addict man!

Sometimes I think I am born nocturnal. I should just sleep in the day and work during the night. Sadly, that is not the way the world or at least Singapore functions.

It is affecting my mood, my judgments, my thinking cap, my behaviors, my attitude, my good looks, my concentration, my working ability, my memory and many more. I felt very frustrated.

Anyway, I search for a couple of remedies and found a few. For those insomniacs like me try THIS out and see if it helps. Some of them work but not all the time. If you nightwalkers have any other suggestions I would love to hear them.

Jet Li Movie [Fearless]

Just got back from watching [Fearless] with my fiancee. One hell of a show. Jet Li can still kick ass! Even my fiancee like the show. We were so intrigued by it and debated our own views on how much of the movie portions is truly based on the life of Huo Yuan Jia after the show ended.

Wanting to know more about this real life character and how the Jing Wu Association he created came about, the first thing I did after I came home is to research about him over the net. The informations I have obtained are very interesting. You will be surprised that one of Bruce Lee's film [Fist of Fury] is based loosely on the character of Liu Zhengsheng, Huo's senior student.

If you have the time, check out Huo Yuan Jia history and his works including how martial arts came about HERE. It includes an old rare photo of him. For those not interested in the history of the man and just want to see a bigger and clearer actual photo of the martial arts master click HERE. For those interested in reading the history in Chinese, I found two versions. VER 1 and VER 2. However, the two accounts doesn't quite agreed with each other in the sense that, the first version stated that his father, Huo En was persuaded to impart the family martial arts skills to him after he had shown he was capable of learning it without disgracing his family. The second version stated that Huo En is not aware of his son's capabilities until a stranger came to challenge them and thrashed the other brothers, which tally with the English history version above. Therefore, your guess is as good as mine.

Anyway I feel this show is still worth the price of the movie tickets.

Keep It Simple

Recently I am addicted to a particular game call [Gold Miner]. It is not a high tech, slaying enemies, saving the world, work of art visual effects sophisticated type of game. In fact, it reminds you of the days when Nintendo cartridges games rule supreme. There is only two types of motion. Up and down.

Ah...don't you just miss the good old days where everything is kept REALLY simple?

Check it out HERE. Be warned. It is highly addictive despite its outlook.